RetroGamer3

Posted: September 1, 2010 in Shitty Video game Reviewers

In an era where video game reviewers are a dime a dozen on YouTube, I bring to your attention RetroGamer3.

This guy is another one of those AVGN “inspired” guys. He even has an AVGN reference in his theme song. Which I might add, is an especially hilarious rap song that needs to be mocked and laughed at. The guys rapping the song are trying to be “hardcore” You will see why it’s so funny when you see their picture at the end.

I ran across this guy awhile back, and laughed when I saw a video of his where he acts like he was one of the first guys ever to blow on an NES cart to make it work. When I called him out on this, he stated “As a Kid, I never saw anyone else do that but me” Really? Well he must live on Saturn or something. Either that, or he actually believes he is some sort of innovator. Anyone that has ever played an NES game, either back then, or now, has done that.

His latest video is a “review” of Dr.Jekyll and Mr. Hyde for the NES. I guess he thinks that YouTube doesn’t have enough videos of horrible AVGN clones reviewing this game. Like he has some sort of wit, or insight to share with his viewers that hasn’t already been done a thousand times.

First, he goes into a whole spiel about how thankful he is that YouTube upped their video limit to 15mins. What, like 10 mins isn’t enough for him to shat out his crappy jokes? What do you actually need the extra 5 mins for? Oh that’s right, you love boring the shit out of your viewers. I find it extremely amusing that he proceeds to go OVER the 15 min limit.

Oh, so we are supposed to watch your video because it’s going to be a “marathon” of a game that the AVGN already reviewed? So why do you feel the need to revisit it?

He even has to say James Rolfe in the video…..ugh. We realize you get a hardon just by thinking of the guy, but come on man.

I don’t even know what to say about the part where he goes behind his house to dig something up…and what do you know? It’s the game he is reviewing. I can’t believe that he would put that in his video like someone would actually find that funny, or mildly amusing. Anyone that does, should be kicked in the nuts.

After digging the game up out of his yard, he shows it in the next scene and it’s in MINT condition. Come on man, that’s just lazy. If you are going to go with a lame ass joke, at least have it be consistent.

Let’s see I counted several Diarrhea , dogshit, and Rhinoceros turd comments. How original man. Genius. I guess he doesn’t think that whole Shtick is overdone.

Also, did we really need that whole lame ass montage of you plugging in your NES? Again, boring as fuck, and adds nothing to the actual “review”. Then again, most of these “reviewers” don’t actually understand what the hell a review is. I mean the whole thing takes almost 2 mins, him blowing on the cart, turning it on. Oh it doesn’t work, and repeat. Fuck man, I wanted to fall asleep during that.

He didn’t even have the courtesy to center the camera, or keep it in focus during his review.

Have a look for yourself. Warning: Massive amounts of crap lie ahead.

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Comments
  1. Reclaimer says:

    Hey Ed your starting to develop a 2nd chin you fat fuck! Eat a Godforsaken Salad; McDonalds has them too, ya know? And no need to hide your receding hairline under that hood no more, I took the time to look to find you a hair regrowth company! Call 1-800-223-0182 to contact ROGAINE and fix that shit up before my eyes develop Rickets and fall the fuck out, you dumb bitch! =D Cheers Racist Asshole

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