More Douchebags to laugh at.

Posted: September 7, 2010 in Uncategorized

There isn’t much to say about a video like this. Some cosplay fags thinking that they are being hilarious by having a “Jizz o’ Meter” I weep at how fucking lame that is. I am all for sexy women, I just don’t understand how so much douche-baggery can be crammed into one video. I mean the series is called “Game Fap” That pretty much tells you how shitty it is without even watching it.

I know that they are preying on the views of losers everywhere that actually fap to this shit, but come on. I can’t even stomach 2 mins of listening to that “host” shat nonsense out. I’m sure he thinks he is pretty awesome…

This guy I am sure has no friends, no life, and will never get a girlfriend that weighs less than 200 pounds.

What a horrible night to have a curse….

[blip.tv http://blip.tv/play/gsVcgfrWMQI%5D

I just don’t understand Art…

Posted: September 6, 2010 in Uncategorized

This picture on Deviantart was brought to my attention by Busy Street:

Be warned, it’s NSFW.

I guess I just don’t understand art. To me this seems like some contrived shit. What the hell is this even supposed to symbolize??

Truthfully, I am probably reading too much into it, and it’s really BS. If that’s the case, then what the hell is the purpose…

I feel dirty…

Here’s the Link to the picture.

I really just don’t get this guy. As I have stated before, It’s horribly apparent that he doesn’t know shit about games.

This is one of those times where he takes on an easy target. An unlicensed NES game. OF COURSE IT SUCKS, THAT’S WHY IT’S UNLICENSED.

Oh right, the game came from the depths of hell, and it’s your old “nemesis” My assumption is that this statement is supposed to be “ironic” and “funny” but it’s just fucking lame. I did laugh my ass off when he stated in the beginning of the video that he “played the game for 10 mins before making the video” Yeah, right Stan, you never played the game before, you just chose a random unlicensed NES game and popped it in. Or, maybe that is what you do and that’s why your videos always suck balls. Either way it sounds moronic for you to say that. It’s like reading Twitter or Facebook feeds of someone constantly telling you what they fucking ate for dinner. No one cares.

Then like he says in LITERALLY every video he makes, “This is one of the worst games you will ever see” Oh great, can’t wait to watch you review another game and say “Rhinoceros diarrhea” because that is so original. His description of the Title screen is even more laughable “You have this green dick fucking a wall” Stan, I know I have said this before, but you must be fucking retarded. Anyone looking at that title screen can tell without any doubt that is supposed to be a tentacle. For an unlicensed NES game, the title screen graphics are actually quite clear. You are reaching saying that looks anything like a dick. But maybe you were just hoping that it was a dick since you probably got a stiffy watching it. Oh, and King Neptune isn’t sleeping, as anyone with a brain can obviously see that he is moving….Wow your idiocy really knows no bounds. So now it’s the Jolly green giant raping his house? Did you smoke crack before you recorded this?? You’re really reaching now Stan..

He starts reading the story background that is prominently displayed on the screen, which any literate person can read…oh but wait you say “who gives a fuck” and stop reading it? What was the point in that?

What the fuck did you mean “I don’t know how a flame stains a flame”?? “Happiness is one of those Jewish things that Jewish Lights”?? What the fuck, how did that make the cut, do you even edit your videos? If so, I’d hate to see the outtakes. It sounds like you are doing your research while you are filming the review…way to waste our time.

This is only 1 minute into the review and I want to shoot myself.

Oh, and Stan, why the fuck do you need to yell? You realize that you are talking into a mic, and recording a video right? Your not in some crowded bar douchebag. He’s probably one of those annoying pricks that yells even in a casual conversation.

Conglaturation!!! Stan, You have completed a great game. And prooved the justice of our culture. Now go fuck yourself.

This sort of shit just reinforces my thinking that some people are from a different planet than I am. I don’t know how anyone thinks this is cool, funny, or even mildly amusing. This makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a plastic spoon.

Fuck this bitch, and the plastic pink My Little Pony figure she rode in on.
Good luck watching it, you will never be the same again. It rapes your eyes, and ears.

RetroGamer3

Posted: September 1, 2010 in Shitty Video game Reviewers

In an era where video game reviewers are a dime a dozen on YouTube, I bring to your attention RetroGamer3.

This guy is another one of those AVGN “inspired” guys. He even has an AVGN reference in his theme song. Which I might add, is an especially hilarious rap song that needs to be mocked and laughed at. The guys rapping the song are trying to be “hardcore” You will see why it’s so funny when you see their picture at the end.

I ran across this guy awhile back, and laughed when I saw a video of his where he acts like he was one of the first guys ever to blow on an NES cart to make it work. When I called him out on this, he stated “As a Kid, I never saw anyone else do that but me” Really? Well he must live on Saturn or something. Either that, or he actually believes he is some sort of innovator. Anyone that has ever played an NES game, either back then, or now, has done that.

His latest video is a “review” of Dr.Jekyll and Mr. Hyde for the NES. I guess he thinks that YouTube doesn’t have enough videos of horrible AVGN clones reviewing this game. Like he has some sort of wit, or insight to share with his viewers that hasn’t already been done a thousand times.

First, he goes into a whole spiel about how thankful he is that YouTube upped their video limit to 15mins. What, like 10 mins isn’t enough for him to shat out his crappy jokes? What do you actually need the extra 5 mins for? Oh that’s right, you love boring the shit out of your viewers. I find it extremely amusing that he proceeds to go OVER the 15 min limit.

Oh, so we are supposed to watch your video because it’s going to be a “marathon” of a game that the AVGN already reviewed? So why do you feel the need to revisit it?

He even has to say James Rolfe in the video…..ugh. We realize you get a hardon just by thinking of the guy, but come on man.

I don’t even know what to say about the part where he goes behind his house to dig something up…and what do you know? It’s the game he is reviewing. I can’t believe that he would put that in his video like someone would actually find that funny, or mildly amusing. Anyone that does, should be kicked in the nuts.

After digging the game up out of his yard, he shows it in the next scene and it’s in MINT condition. Come on man, that’s just lazy. If you are going to go with a lame ass joke, at least have it be consistent.

Let’s see I counted several Diarrhea , dogshit, and Rhinoceros turd comments. How original man. Genius. I guess he doesn’t think that whole Shtick is overdone.

Also, did we really need that whole lame ass montage of you plugging in your NES? Again, boring as fuck, and adds nothing to the actual “review”. Then again, most of these “reviewers” don’t actually understand what the hell a review is. I mean the whole thing takes almost 2 mins, him blowing on the cart, turning it on. Oh it doesn’t work, and repeat. Fuck man, I wanted to fall asleep during that.

He didn’t even have the courtesy to center the camera, or keep it in focus during his review.

Have a look for yourself. Warning: Massive amounts of crap lie ahead.

Mikeyspiky200

Posted: August 31, 2010 in Shitty Video game Reviewers

Well, here is another kid who is reviewing games that he never played. I hate it when kids “review” games that were released before they we born. Especially ones that review games that they think are “Obscure”

He states in the beginning of the video “Before you all watch the video, I have to warn you, that this game is incredibly..shit”

So why the hell would anyone continue watching your crappy video about the game then? He continues on that as much as he REALLY doesn’t want to play it, he will swallow the shit and do us all a big favor and make a video of him playing it.

He then goes into an explanation on how a car should stop, when he looks like he has little experience driving (if any).  Oh shit, you mean you have to press on the brake? Wow man, what a revelation.  He even acts this out, but instead of using some sort of car, he uses a Wiimote. It’s like watching a little kid play make-believe.

He complains about how the first boss is impossible…but wait, you beat it. So it’s not impossible then? Make up your mind. Just because you find a game is hard, doesn’t mean it’s “impossible” it just means that you aren’t very good at it. Get it straight.

As far as the rest goes, it’s pretty much your standard crappy AVGN clone fare. It’s laughable, just like all the other clones. You watch him play though the game while he bitches and complains. Nothing that resembles a “review” at all. I wonder when these people will understand the difference between a “Let’s play” and a “review” I encourage these people to look up the definition of a review. PLEASE.

He has a quote that will pretty much serve as my question back to him. “What the fuck are you doing, and why the fuck are you doing it?”

This guy churns out a shitload videos every month. Sometimes his reviews are ok. At least some of them you can call “reviews”

When you start uploading videos about how much you love your Mousepad, that is where I draw the line. Seriously? Fuck you, and your mousepad!

Why would anyone think that a video about how much they love their Mousepad would be interesting to anyone? This is proof positive that YouTube partners know they can shat out any sort of video and get views from their subscribers.